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    February 26

    in an instant

    your life can change in an instant. forever changed.  Never ever doubt your gut feeling.  Listen to it! Be sure to tell them you love them. I'm dealing with a tragedy. A horrific reality. i'm a mess. i've replayed it all over in my head more than a million times.  i want to forget and move on and i wont be able to as i'm the voice she needs. my angel with broken wings is now soaring.  i will look to her for my strength as she did me and i'm not sure i didn't let her down.  i will have to live with that forever.  i have to go to court on thursday to be her voice. i told him i would tell the world and make sure he pays.  nothing nothing nothing will stop me from being sure he is punished forever. 
    please lord help me through this and for all the days to come and for me to find peace with my soul. i wish i would have done it all differently now.  god do i wish. the whatifs the how comes and if onlys are killing me.  i know i can't continue to beat myself up because its darkening my soul.  i hate this all of it. but then people ask me why didn't you .....  they have no idea what that's doing to me.  
    he killed her and i both that night. i will never be the same
    i will get help when i remember to breathe and this process is over.  i must as i wont let him win
     
     
    February 20

    spooky

    O.k. this is just plain spooky!  Click on the link and read the story.  W O W ! ! !
     
     
    ttfn
     
    February 19

    travel destinations?

    I need a vacation badly!   I used to go on girls vacations every year and I so looked forward to it.  And for some reason or another we haven't gone in like 3 years!   My friend and I decided that we are going to try and go away at the end of April for a 4 day weekend or something.   HOWEVER  I don't know where to go!!   We just want to relax and meet people and be warm and drink and dance and enjoy ourselves.   So any ideas where to go?   We used to go to MB for bike week and I loved it... but it's not a good date for us to go.  DARN IT!  So where?!?  
    Dallas?   I've heard good things but I've never been there.   Fizz what do you think?
    Miami?   I've not been there in years...
    California? No, because my brother lives there and he'd be not happy if I didn't see him. I want a girls vacation.
    Atlanta?   Never even thought about that one.  Is it safe for two women by themselves? 
    It's got to be reasonable too!  
    So your ideas are appreciated. 
     
     
    Your thoughts and suggestions are really appreciated.  
     

    shopping

    Happy Tuesday!   Well it's another cold as heck day here!  More snow on the way.  Oh well what cha gonna do?   It's always been like that in this state and it's not going to change so you've just got to keep pluggin along with your warm mittens! tee hee
     
    Well last night I went shopping.... I hate shopping... don't like it one bit.   I'm better at shopping at things for the house and what not, but for clothes .....BLECH! 
    But I needed new jeans badly.  I seriously think it's been like 3 years since I've purchased jeans brand new.  I usually go to the Sal*vation Ar*my to buy jeans or I get hand me downs from friends.   So I needed some new ones pretty bad.    So I recruited my friend with major fashion knowledge and off we went.  I think we went to 5 stores and I'm not kidding when I say I literally tried on 50-60 pair of jeans last night.   I'm short.  I know I'm short and I know I need short jeans.... Now even the short jeans are too long.  WTH???  But the good news is I bought 3 pair!   wahoo!!  But can I just say one pair I can't even bring myself to keep were $72?!?!!?!  Umm what's that all about?   Seriously they are the best looking jeans on me but $72?!?!?!   I don't know if I'll keep em.  What do you think?   The other two pair I got for $30 each, so not so bad there.   The guilt of spending that kind of money is what is killing me!   Can you imagine how many pair of jeans I could have purchased at S&A for that kind of money?   No, they probably wouldn't have fit me like these.  O.k. and I think all of the jeans I purchased have the shortest zippers known to man.. tee hee it's been a long time since I've shopped and been "in style" tee hee
    Keep em or return em? 
    I did get the greatest Sham*rock hat ever!!  Too CUTE! It made me happy while I shopped too so it's a very good thing!
     
    ttfn
     
     
    February 14

    THANKS!

    To those of you whom stop by regularly, to those of you whom stop by and leave comments, to those of you that lurk and never say anything.... I want to say thanks.   When I started this it was an out for me, to vent and get rid of the bad and then to remember the good.   But it's so much more than that!!   I love you guys!   Your words are nicer than you can imagine and mean so much to me.   I had 4 requests for friends this week.  It's amazing.  
     
    So I'll keep stopping by your place, you can come by here anytime and of course I love to hear from you all!  Take care and remember that you mean something to this little girl! 
     
    TTFN

    Memory lane

    Hello and Happy Valentines day!   I was sitting this morning having coffee with the hubby and we were thinking back to the school days of getting those little cards and such in our boxes that we spent the whole weekend making.  It was a fun trip down memory lane.   I remember I got a card from a boy that said, I've liked you since kindergarten and I think you should be my girlfriend.  All this love pent up in a 3rd grade boy!!  Tee hee!!   I remember telling him yes and the next day he came by my house with this little stuffed monkey.   It had a sad face and lopsided eyes.  I was very bothered by the sad face.  After hearing me complain that my monkey of true love was always sad for a week straight, my oldest sister took it upon herself to fix his face into a smile while I was at school.  I still have that little guy and he still smiles at me to this day with those lopsided eyes.   tee hee!!! 
     
    I love these trips down memory lane and remembering all the good from our childhoods.  It's so easy to stick and remember the negative and to stay there, but man is it fun to remember the good times!! 
    February 12

    Happy Tuesday!

    I'm feeling much better thanks so much for all of your well wishes.  Still coughing but feeling good.  Now I guess the hubby has it and ummm on top of it all his back is out too.  So when ever he coughs or blows his nose OUCH!  He was so pale this morning and sweat was pouring off of him.  I thought he was having a heart attack or something.  It scared the crap out of me.   Finally got him back to bed called his work and got ready for work myself.   I went home at lunch to check on him and he's sick.  He's so darn stubborn too!  I give him drugs to take and he says, no I'm fine.  I roll my eyes and walk away.  I'm not going to force the man but geesh!  I told him that if he doesn't take the meds that I was going to call my mom home from my sisters house to baby him.  He took the meds.  HA!! 
     
    O.K. this weather is just yucky!  I don't mind cold and snow but come on It was -3 on my way to work this morning.  Our subdivision roads are just a huge thick rutted ice blob.  I don't think my car would have gotten me through it.  I'm just glad I'm in the trailbl*azer now. 
     
    I hope you are all well and staying warm out there!    I'm going home tonight and I'm going to have a Lysol party with one of my friends.  She said we need to decontaminate your house so that's what we are going to do.  Hopefully Mr. Happy is o.k. with all of the sanitizing we are going to be doing.  
     
    Take care all!
    ttfn
     
     
     
    February 08

    GREAT NEWS!!

    Howdy!
     
    Well I'm feeling a bit better.  Still pretty sick, but I'll live.     Yesterday I had some GREAT news given to me.  Remember the kitty that we rescued... Well she finally got adopted!!   HIP HIP HOORAY!!   (Doing the happy dance... Cough cough cough... O.k. no more dancing it winds me.  )
     
    That made my month!   Happy happy happy !!!!! 
     
    2 critters helped... only 4,687,218,685,218 to go!
     
    I'm so happy that little girl has a loving forever home!! 
     
    Hope you are all well, and that you have a fabulous Weekend!!
    ttfn
     
    February 06

    We can all help! Come on Step up do your part too please!!

    I'm disgusted and appalled.   I thought that this might be happening as it's just too easy to walk away.  HUMANS can be so mean!  I know there are some houses near me and I will be stopping by to "snoop" on my way home.   You can do your part as well.  Just go and check on them please. 
     
    article I read led to this blog....
     

    Foreclosure Pets, You Can Make a Difference - Call to Action

    January 30, 2008 | By Admin In Abandonment, Animal Advocacy, Article, Crimes Against Canines |

    Jon - abandoned, left to starve and dieIf you watch the news, you’ll see more and more stories about these most innocent victims of this financial hell our country seems to be going through; Foreclosure Pets. The headlines ring out; “Foreclosures At An All Time High,” “Foreclosures Leads to Abandoned Animals,” “Family Pets Major Victims of Foreclosure” and many more. It’s heart wrenching!

    The stories are even more so. Dogs, cats, even small pets, abandoned; closed in rooms or left outside or in a garage with no means of sustenance, many beyond saving by the time they are found, the pictures so graphic as to make you think of animal holocaust victims.

    One of the things that makes this even worse is that people often have months warningNeeko, slowly recovering when they are going to lose their home but their once cherished pets don’t even seem to enter their minds and are relegated to just trash left behind.

    Even pet owners who care and try to do the right thing are running into problems; rescues are filled to overflowing with dogs and cats, shelters are bursting at the seams.

    This sad situation is only bound to escalate as the economy bottoms out and foreclosure rates continue to rise, shelters and rescues fill and people are not adopting because sadly, pets are expensive.

    Not everyone is content to sit back and just read the stories of these abandoned dogs and cats. Instead on just crying and asking “What can I do?” she answered her own question and has chosen to make a difference where she lives.

    I got this email today and want to share it because you too can make a difference:

    Dear Deanna,

    Thank you for the information. I live in Northern CA. I am so outraged by this
    foreclosure crisis and the abandonment of these poor animals.

    Instead of being upset and crying over it I decided to do something. I went to
    the Realty Trak website you provided and I queried foreclosures in my zip code, I’m going to go to these homes and investigate…. I’ll be snooping around looking in windows and listening for any obvious or tell tale signs of abandoned animals. That’s one thing I can do to try to help in my community. I signed up for a free trial w/Realty Trak so they provide the exact address. After I finish my zip I’ll go to the next and then on. At least I’ll be doing something instead of sitting here upset, angry and crying for these poor creatures. Wish me luck, I hope I can do some good.

    She’s going to make a difference and if she saves the life of only one abandoned pet, her time will be well spent. She may call it ’snooping’ but there’s nothing wrong with investigating and what she is doing is actually using a sound investigative method. I applaud her actions and hope that she will keep my updated with her progress.

    The thing here is, you can do the same thing or even as little as just taking some time to drive around and look at houses. Abandoned and empty houses usually have an obvious look, it takes only minutes to check, look in the windows, check the yards. If you see an animal in distress the most important thing is to get it out of that situation.

    So, will you answer this ‘Call to Action’ or will you continue to just sit and read these horror stories “upset, angry and crying for these poor creatures.” Will you continue to ask “What can I do?” but never doing anything? You can make a difference!

     
     

    Feeling crappy

    UGH do I feel like crap... I did go to the dr.'s and they gave me drugs and said that it's going to take a bit for you to feel better.  UCKY...  Now I know I'm lucky.  As my sis in law and another girl I know here from spaces (mrs. kenny) are sick and they are preggo and can take natta!  Oh I think I would be even more of a huge crab monster than I already am if that was the case.  
     
    I feel like I should be home in bed.  Chilled, sick, tired, ears plugged, woozie... and uck!  But then I would have to have my mom there mothering me.   Oh I about lost it yesterday.   I know she means well, but please when I say please stop asking me all these questions and no thank you I don't need anything and you just keep going for 10-15 minutes constant of "You need this and I'm going to make you that and how bout if I do this for you, let me fix you a warm bed on the couch and blah blah blah".... I finally said... MOM PLEASE STOP!   Please no more questions and babying.   I'm 36 years old and I'm fine, If I do need something I will ask.   That made her quiet for about 2 minutes tops and then she comes back with OJ, Water, Kleenex and a Pillow.. And I was just at home waiting for my prescriptions to be filled.   And finally I just said O.k. gotta go... and sat in the parking lot of the drug store so I could just have some peace and quiet. 
    After I finally am done for the day and I get home from work and I'm chilled and I just want to lay on my couch with my warm fuzzy blanket.  And I'm ready for some R and R.   NOPE!   My blanket (I know it sounds selfish, but it's my blankie, and I bought her one of her own so she would leave mine be.) Is gone, I look in the washer/dryer and nope....It's ON HER BED!!!   What ?@!@!?    OMG I was crabby and I was going to blow.   Her reason why is she was chilled during her afternoon nap.   OMG OMG OMG I ask where is the blanket I bought you.   It's in the linen closet of course......UUUGGHHH!!!!   and now my blankie smells like my mom and her damn instant coffee that she's always drinking 24 hours a day.   My mom doesn't stink but we all have our own smell and damn it!  I want my blanket ..... Never mind I'm being mean.    
    I know she has an appointment this morning, so I may sneak home for a little nap in a while and try to shake this headache that I have at least. 
    With my luck, she'll cancel her appointment because of the roads.  Yep... probably.  Maybe I'll just crawl under my desk and pretend a paper towel is my blanket and I'll be happy and in peace and threaten anyone whom comes near me or talks to me that I will lick their eyeballs and give them cooties as well.  
     
    Time for more drugs so I'm off.  
    ttfn
     
     
     
     
     
    February 05

    Cootie Alert!

    Darn it!!!   I've been living in a house of cooties.... then I come to work and more cooties from my boss.  I've been so careful and trying really hard not to get it... well it didn't work.  I GOT COOTIES!!  Darn it.  However the difference is... I will go to the dr.'s unlike all of the others that have had it around me.   Geesh. 
     
    I think what happened is that I had too much fun with my brothers this past Friday.   I didn't want it to end.  I knew I only had a limited amount of time with them.  And I was determinded not to spend it sleeping!  Tee hee !! 
     
    Friday after work I went home picked up Hubby and went to my Dad's house.   There we visited for a while with the brother from California and his girlfriend and of course my other brother and his preggo wife and then we (my bro from CA and I) went to the train station to pick up the baby brothers.   We got back to dad's house ate city chicken which is so flippin yummy and visited some more.  Hubby left soon after that.  Then my brothers and I all except the one with kids and preggo wife came back to my house about 1 am and the next thing I know the clock is chiming 5 am.   Off to bed only to get back up after a couple of blinks around 7:15 am to start cooking bfast.  As the brother from CA had to leave by 8:45am.  We had lots of fun.  It was way too short, but we made the best of it. 
    I do think that staying up for 24 hours really kicked my arse!  And then my immune system fell to the wayside. 
     
    So I could use about a 4 hour nap today and then another 8 hour nap before I go to bed... tee hee!  
    But I'm here at work, because I know it's only going to get worse.  So I'll take the time then.  But man do I feel tipsy and ucky all at the same time.  This thing with my ears is the worse.  Well the coughing is no fun either. 
     
    I'll talk at you later and please grab a sanitary wipe on your way out and then go wash your hands. 
     
    ttfn